Kiddushin 31b — the Talmud in English

And

his deed

brings him to life in the World to Come,

because he honors him with good words and consolations. This is similar to the following deed:

There was an incident involving a man who was commanded to present himself for the king’s service. His son wanted to present himself in place of his father, but he was accustomed to earning his livelihood by grinding at a millstone, and he could not neglect his work. What did he do? He said to his father: “Father, you grind, and I will go in your place to serve the king, for it is impossible to know what will come at its end: if disgrace, it is better for you to grind at the millstone; and if beatings, certainly it is better for you to grind at the millstone.”

And the Gemara brings another statement:

Rabbi Abbahu said: Such as Avimi, my son

[my son]

fulfilled the mitzva of honoring

properly.

And the Gemara explains: How?

Five adult sons,

sons who were supported at his table,

Avimi had during the lifetime of

Rabbi Abbahu

his father.

And whenever Rabbi Abbahu would come and knock at the door,

when Rabbi Abbahu would come and knock at the door, Avimi would not allow one of his sons to open it; rather,

he would run and go,

he would himself run and go,

and open it for him, and

all the time that he had not yet reached the door

he would say: Yes! Yes! until I reach there.

He would say, “I shall open,” “I shall open,” until he reached the door.

One day, he said to him

his father

“Give me water to drink!”

One day Rabbi Abbahu said to his son Avimi, “Give me water to drink.”

By the time I brought it to him,

by the time Avimi had managed to bring it to him, he

dozed off.

Avimi bent down,

Avimi

stood over him until he awoke,

he stood over him with the water until he awoke.

And because he was so careful about the mitzva,

the matter was enabled for him, and

when he bent over his father

he expounded

Avimi the exposition of the whole of Psalm 79 in the Book of Psalms,

“A Psalm of Asaph,”

which he had not previously understood.

Rabbi Jacob bar Avuh said

he asked

Abaye: In a case such as mine,

I, who am beloved by my father and dear to my mother,

for before I come from the house of study,

before I return from the academy,

Father lifts a cup for me and Mother mixes it for me,

my father pours wine into a cup for me, and my mother pours water into it so that it will be fit for proper drinking,

what shall I do,

how should I conduct myself? Is it permitted for me to accept from them, or do I thereby harm their honor?

He said to him

Abaye

“Accept from your mother, but do not accept from your father.”

For since “

a Torah scholar”

he is, his mind may be weakened.

Since he is a scholar, there is concern that at times his mind will be weakened if you make use of his service.

Rabbi Tarfon had that mother,

he had an elderly mother,

for whenever she wanted to climb onto her bed, he would bend down and she would climb upon him.

Whenever she wanted to climb onto her bed, Rabbi Tarfon would bend down, and she would climb onto his back.

And whenever she descended, she descended upon him,

whenever she descended, she descended upon his back.

He came and was boasting in the house of study,

Rabbi Tarfon came to the house of study and boasted about his deed.

They said to him,

the Sages said to him:

“You have still not reached half

of what

honor

the Torah obligated. For

did he ever throw his purse before you into the sea, and you did not shame him

because of that?! Is this not also included in the mitzva of honor?”

When Rav Yosef would hear the sound of his mother’s footsteps,

when he would hear the sound of his mother’s footsteps,

he would say: “Let me rise before the Divine Presence, which is coming!”

“Let me rise before the Divine Presence that is now coming. For when a person honors his mother, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: ‘I account it for them as though I dwelt among them and they honored Me.’”

Rabbi Yohanan said: Fortunate is one who never saw them,

who did not see his parents, because it is impossible to fulfill their honor as fully as necessary, and a person is punished on their account.

And

Rabbi Yohanan

said this because he was orphaned and did not see his parents at all,

for

[when]

when his mother conceived him, his father died,

and when

she gave birth to him, she died,

his mother.

And so too Abaye,

he too was orphaned and did not see his parents.

And we raise an objection:

Is that so? But Abaye said

many times

“Mother said to me

such and such,” and from this it follows that he saw his mother!

And we answer:

That

mother

was his nurse.

It was not his mother, but his nurse who had raised him.

Rav Asi had

he had

that elderly mother.

She said to him: “I want

I want

jewelry!” He made

[made]

it for her.

She returned and said to him:

“I want a husband,”

I want a man to marry! He said to her:

“We shall seek”

we shall search

for one for you.

She returned and said to him:

“I want a man as handsome as you,”

I want a man like you!

He left her and went to the Land of Israel,

he left her and went to the Land of Israel, because he understood that her mind had become deranged concerning her, and he would not be able to honor her according to the law.

When he reached the Land of Israel,

he heard

Rav Asi

that she was following after him,

that she had come after him. And he wanted to go out to meet her in order to honor her. But he was uncertain whether it was forbidden to leave the Land of Israel for this purpose.

He came before

he came before

Rabbi Yohanan,

and

said to him: “What is

the law concerning

leaving the Land

of

Israel for outside the Land?”

He said to him,

Rabbi Yohanan:

“It is forbidden.”

Rav Asi returned and asked: Leaving

to meet Mother, what is

the law?

He said to him,

Rabbi Yohanan:

“I do not know.”

He waited a little,

Rav Asi waited a little,

then he returned,

afterward he again came before Rabbi Yohanan.

And Rabbi Yohanan thought that Rav Asi intended to return to his homeland, Babylonia, and that he had not intended to leave in order to honor his mother.

Therefore,

he said to him

Rabbi Yohanan:

“Asi, have you resolved to leave

for Babylonia? If so, may it be the will that

the Omnipresent return you in peace

to your place.”

And Rav Asi feared that Rabbi Yohanan was angry with him; therefore,

he came before

he came before

Rabbi Elazar,

Rabbi Yohanan’s student, and

said to him: Heaven forbid, perhaps

[perhaps] Rabbi Yohanan

is very angry

with me?

He said to him,

Rabbi Elazar:

“What did he say to you?”

He said

he replied

to him

Rav Asi: Rabbi Yohanan said this to me: “May the Omnipresent return you in peace.”

Rabbi Elazar said to him:

Rabbi Elazar

“If it were indeed so that he was angry, would he have blessed you?”

If Rabbi Yohanan had been angry with you, he would not have blessed you.

And when Rav Asi heard this, he went out to outside the Land to meet his mother.

Meanwhile,

in the meantime, after he had gone out to outside the Land to meet her and before he managed to meet his mother,

he heard of the coffin that was coming,

he heard that his mother had died and that her coffin was coming, in order to bury her in the Land of Israel.

He said: “Had I known, I would not have gone out!”

Had I known that she had died, I would not have gone out to outside the Land to meet her.

The Sages taught

in a beraita concerning the mitzva of honoring father and mother:

Included in the mitzva of honoring a father are two matters: [a]

he honors him during his lifetime [

[b]

and he honors him after his death.

And the beraita explains:

He honors him

during his lifetime—how?

When something concerning his father is heard by the people of a place,

a person who requests a request from the people of the place and knows that they honor his father, and that they will honor the request he makes from them in his father’s name, then, even if he knows that they would honor him as they honor his father, nevertheless

he should not say

to them: “Fulfill my request and

send me

quickly to my home

for my own sake,”

or

“Hurry me for my own sake,”

or

“Release me for my own sake.”

Rather,

in

all of them

he should say

“For Father’s sake,”

that is: Hurry to my table, because my father needs my assistance.

He honors him

after his death—how?

When he says a teaching

that he heard

from his mouth, he should not say, “So said Father,” but rather, “So said my father, my master; may I be an atonement for his resting place.”

That is: May every evil fit to come upon his soul come upon me.

And these words

apply

within twelve months

of his father’s death, because the judgment of the wicked of Israel in Gehinnom is twelve months; but

from this point onward he says

about his father

“May his memory be a blessing for life in the World to Come.”

The Sages taught,

in another beraita concerning honoring a father:

In the time of the Gemara it was customary for the scholar to whisper his discourse into the ears of the interpreter, and the interpreter would repeat the words aloud, so that the audience would hear.

And the beraita says concerning this:

A scholar

who wishes to expound a matter in the name of his father or his teacher

changes

the

name of his father and the name of his teacher

in the ears of the interpreter. That is: he does not mention the name, but says, “So said my father, my teacher,” or “So said my rabbi and teacher.”

But the

interpreter does not change either

the

name of his father, nor

the

name of his teacher.

And immediately the Gemara is astonished: “The name of his father,” which was mentioned concerning the interpreter—

whose father,

whose father is it?

If you say,

if we explain according to the plain meaning of the language, that the beraita is speaking about

the interpreter’s father,

that is, when the scholar says a halakhic matter in the name of the interpreter’s father to make it heard by the public, the interpreter should not change his father’s name and say, “So said my father, my teacher,” but should call him by his name—

If we explain it thus, there is reason to wonder at the words of the beraita:

Is it so

that

the interpreter is not one obligated

to honor his father?!

Rather, Rava said:

the beraita is speaking about

the name of the scholar’s father and

the

name of the scholar’s teacher,

that is: when the scholar whispers into the interpreter’s ears, “So said my father, my teacher,” the interpreter does not say, “So said the scholar’s father,” but mentions the name of the scholar’s father.

As was the case

as was customary before him

with Mar, son of Rav Ashi, when

when

he would expound at the public discourse,

when Rav Ashi would expound publicly on the festival,

he

Rav Ashi

would say

to the interpreter, “So said

my father, my master.”

And

his

interpreter

would

say: “Thus

so

said Rav Ashi.”

The Sages taught:

What is awe

that was mentioned in the Torah,

and what is honor

that was mentioned in the Torah?

Awe—

that is, that the son

does not stand in his place,

in the place designated for his father to stand and consult there with the elders of the city.

And he does not sit in his place

designated for him to recline in his home. ,

And he does not contradict his words.

And he does not decide against him,

if his father disagrees with the words of another scholar, he should not say, “It seems to me that the other scholar’s words should be accepted decisively,” and not those of his father.

Honor—

the son

feeds and gives drink

and

clothes and covers

his father, and

brings in and takes out

his father from place to place.

This concludes the words of the beraita.