Ketubot 61a — the Talmud in English

And the Gemara specifies the foods that are beneficial for pregnancy:

when she eats meat and drinks wine,

a pregnant woman who eats meat and drinks wine,

she will have healthy sons! ![](pamud.bmp "

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healthy

healthy].

When she eats eggs

eggs],

she will have sons with large eyes

their eyes are large, and this is beautiful].

When she eats fish

fish],

she will have graceful sons

possessing grace].

When she eats celery

celery],

she will have handsome sons

of handsome appearance].

When she eats coriander, she will have fleshy sons

possessing flesh].

When she eats an etrog, she will have fragrant sons

possessing fragrance].

An incident involving

the daughter of Shapur the king,

the daughter of Shapur the king, who

her mother ate

when she was pregnant with her

an etrog, and they would bring her

to her daughter

before her father at the head of the fragrant things,

they would bring her daughter before her father first among the fragrant things.

Rav Huna said:

Rav Huna bar Hinena tested us

he was testing us to see whether we would know how to answer]

Rav Huna bar Hinena

with the following question; and Rav Huna bar Hinena prefaced:

This law is obvious: if

she

the woman]

says

that she wants

to nurse

her son,

and he

her husband]

says that she should not nurse, so that she will not become unattractive but will remain in her beauty —

so that she will not become unattractive but will retain her beauty —

we heed her,

to nurse. For preventing a nursing woman from nursing

is her distress,

it is her distress], since the milk accumulates in her breasts and causes her distress.

However, if

he

the husband]

says

that she should

nurse

their son,

and she

the woman]

says that she should not nurse,

but rather wishes that the husband should hire a wet nurse—

what is the law?

And we resolved it

and we—the Rav Huna and the members of the group—resolved the question of Rav Huna bar Hinena:

Whenever it is not her practice

that it is not her practice to nurse], when she comes from a family in which the women do not customarily nurse their sons themselves but customarily hire a wet nurse,

we heed her

not to nurse. Rather, the husband should hire a wet nurse.

And Rav Huna bar Hinena further added a question, in order to test us:

If

she,

the woman,

customarily does so,

it is the practice of her family to nurse,

and

if

he,

the husband,

does not customarily do so,

it is not the practice of his family to nurse—

what is the law?

What is the law when he says that she should nurse according to the practice of the woman’s family, whereas she says that she should not nurse, according to the practice of the husband’s family?

Do

we follow him

after the husband]

and follow

the right that she should not nurse, according to the practice of his family,

or do we follow her

after the woman]

and follow,

and since it is the practice of her family to nurse, she must nurse their son herself?

And Rav Huna said:

and we resolved it

we and the members of the group resolved for Rav Huna bar Hinena, who had tested us],

from this

which we learned above [48a]:

“She ascends

the woman

with him

with her husband]

but does not descend with him”

she ascends in rank if his rank is higher than hers, but she does not descend to his rank if her rank is higher than his].

Rav Huna said: What is the verse?

From where is there a source in the words of Scripture for the principle that the woman ascends with him but does not descend with him?

For it is written [Genesis 20]:

“And she is married to a husband”,

the verse teaches that one must treat the woman

according to her husband’s ascent, but not according to her husband’s descent.

Rabbi Elazar said: From here

it is learned: for it is written concerning Eve:

“For she was the mother of all living.”

The verse teaches that

the woman was given for life

the woman,

and was not given for distress.

We learned in the Mishna:

If she brought him a maidservant,

one, she neither grinds nor bakes nor launders:

And the Gemara infers:

This, the others

the other labors,

she does

the woman [such as cooking and nursing the son; the woman is obligated to perform them for her husband despite having brought him a maidservant]!

And the Gemara raises a difficulty about this:

Let her say to him

let the woman say to her husband]:

“I brought you a woman in my place”,

I brought you a woman in my stead and in my place, so why should I perform any labors myself at all!? And we answer:

Because he says to her

the husband to his wife:

“This one,

the maidservant,

is exertion for me and for herself

for me and for herself], but

before you—

who will exert himself

but before you, who will exert himself]!?

We learned in the Mishna: If she brought him

two

maidservants],

she neither cooks nor nurses

her son:

And the Gemara infers:

This, the others

the labors—she makes his bed and works with wool—

she does

the woman!

And the Gemara raises a difficulty about this:

Let her say to him

the woman to her husband: Behold,

“I brought you another woman who will exert herself for me and for herself”

I brought another woman who will exert herself for her and for me],

and one

an additional woman] who will exert herself

for you and for herself,

so why should I also do so!? And we answer:

Because he says to her

the husband to his wife:

“Before guests and wayfarers

who will exert himself

before the guests, who will exert himself]!?

We learned in the Mishna: If she brought him

three

maidservants],

she neither makes the bed

nor works with wool:

And the Gemara infers:

This, the others

the labors, such as minor matters,

she does

the woman!

Let her say to him,

the woman should say to her husband:

“I brought you

another maidservant

to serve

the

guests and wayfarers

so why should I also do so!?

And we answer:

Because he says to her

the husband to his wife: Since

the members of the household have increased,

when there are many household members, for the maidservants have increased in the house,

there also increase

also

the guests and wayfarers.

The guests too increase, and if so, who will exert himself before them!?

And we challenge:

If so, even

when she brought him

four

maidservants,

also

she should do minor things; why then did we learn: If she brought him four maidservants, she sits in a chair!? And we answer: When she brought him

four

maidservants,

since they have become numerous, they assist one another

since the maidservants are numerous, they assist one another].

Rabbi Hanna said, and some say Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥmani:

This statement that we learned in our Mishna, “If she brought him one maidservant,” and likewise two, three, and four, through which the woman’s obligations to her husband are reduced,

is not

specifically when

she actually brought him

maidservants.

Rather, once she is fit to bring them, even though she did not bring them,

it is as though she brought them.

And this is, for example, when she brought him a large dowry, and it is appropriate for the husband of a woman who brings such a dowry to purchase maidservants from part of the dowry, to bring them in and have them serve her.

The tanna

in a beraita:

Whether one who brought him

maidservants,

or one who reduced for him from what was hers,

for example, she saved him things that the husband was required to give her, in either case she is not obligated to perform them herself, except to the extent stated in the Mishna when she actually brought him maidservants.

We learned in the Mishna: If she brought him

four

maidservants]—

she sits in a chair:

Rabbi Isaac bar Ḥanania said in the name of Rav Huna:

Even though they said

in our Mishna that when she brought him four maidservants she

sits in a chair,

and is not obligated to perform any labor for him—

But,

nevertheless, it is good counsel that she herself

pour him a cup and make his bed,

and wash his face, his hands, and his feet,

since all these are acts of affection, and make the woman beloved to her husband.

And

further

Rabbi Isaac bar Ḥanania said in the name of Rav Huna:

All the labors

that we learned in the Mishna

that the woman performs

for her husband—

even when she is

menstruating,

she

performs

them

for her husband.

Except for

these three labors:

pouring the cup and making the bed

with a sheet,

and washing his face, his hands, and his feet,

for these matters are practices of affection and lead to habituation to intimacy.

And the Gemara explains:

“And making the bed”—

Rava said: We said

that a menstruating woman does not make her husband’s bed

only when

she does this

in his presence

of her husband.

But when not in his presence

of her husband,

we have no concern,

but she is permitted to make it.

The Gemara further explains:

“And pouring the cup”—

Shmuel’s wife would alter it for him,

when she was menstruating

with her left hand.

She would alter her usual practice: she would pour the cup for him and place it before him with her left hand, as a sign.

The wife of

Abaye

would place it for him

the cup, when she was menstruating,

at the mouth of the wine vessel.

At the mouth of the vessel of wine, but she would not place it before him in its proper place.

And the wife of

Rava

would place

it at the head of the bed

at his pillow], and not in the place proper for him.

And the wife of

Rav Pappa

would place

it on the bench

on the bench], and not in the place proper for him.

And

further

Rabbi Isaac bar Ḥanania said in the name of Rav Huna:

Everything,

all foods that the attendant serves to the table,

are withheld before the attendant

from being given to him to eat until the invited guests rise.

Except for meat and wine

which must be given to him immediately, because he craves them and suffers if he does not taste them immediately.

Said

Rabbi

Ḥisda:

This statement that we said, that meat and wine are not withheld before the attendant, applies specifically to

fatty meat and aged wine,

for he craves these especially and suffers.

Said

Rabbi

Rava:

Fatty meat,

which we said is not withheld before the attendant, applies throughout

the entire year.

Whereas

aged wine is not withheld before him except

during the season of Tammuz,

during the season of Tammuz,

because the scent of the wine is then strong, and the heat of the day stirs it in the attendant like venom.

Rav Anan bar Taḥlifa said: I was standing before Mar Shmuel

I was standing before Mar Shmuel],

and they brought him a dish of ardei

and they brought Shmuel a dish of ardei, which is a type of truffle and mushroom].

And if he had not given me some, I would have been endangered

and had he not given me some of the dish, I would have risked being seized by ravenous hunger because of my hunger’s craving].

Rav Ashi said: I was standing before Rav Kahana

I was standing before Rav Kahana],

and they brought him round slices of turnip in vinegar

and they brought him thin, round pieces of turnip in vinegar].

And if he had not given me some, I would have been endangered

if he had not given me some of it, I would have been endangered].

Rav Pappa said: Even fat dates of Hunaita

fat dates] harm one who does not taste them when they are eaten before him—

And

the general principle of the matter

is: which food is harmful, and it is forbidden to withhold it before the attendant?

Any

food

that has a scent and has sharpness

anything that has a scent and causes the teeth to ache] harms the one before whom it is eaten while he does not eat, and it may not be withheld before the attendant.

Avuha bar Ihi and Minyamin bar Ihi

conducted themselves with the attendant in different ways:

One

of them

would feed

he would give the attendant at the beginning

from each kind and kind

one of them would give the attendant first from every kind and kind that he served at the table].

And one

of them

would feed

he would give the attendant at the beginning only

from one kind

and the other would give the attendant at the beginning of the meal from only one kind, so that he could eat from it to satiety], whereas from the other kinds that he served afterward, he would give him only at the end of the meal.

The one -

that same one who would give the attendant from each and every kind -

Elijah would speak

the prophet

with him [

He was speaking with him—Elijah the prophet].

And

if

the one -

who would give only from one kind at the beginning of the meal -

not

would

Elijah speak with him.

A deed involving

those two pious men [

two pious men whose names were not known],

and some say [

there are those who say] that those pious men were

Rav Mari and Rav Pinhas, sons of Rav Hisda:

For

one would advance and give [

one of them would advance to give to the attendant before the attendant served the food to those reclining at the meal],

and

if

one would delay and give

to the attendant after the attendant had already served all the guests].

That pious man

who advanced and gave [

who would advance to give to the attendant] -

Elijah

would

speak with him

of that pious man.

But that pious man

who delayed and gave -

not

would

Elijah speak with him,

because when he gives to the attendant before the guests, he sees and is distressed, and at times there are many guests.

The Gemara further relates about

Amemar, Mar Zutra, and Rav Ashi,

who

were sitting at the entrance of King Azgor's house [

they were sitting at the entrance of King Azgor's house],

and

there passed and went [

passed before them]

the king's aturanga [

the man appointed over seating the food before the officials], with food and various cooked dishes in his hand.