Ketubot 17a — the Talmud in English

Beit Shammai say:

It is forbidden to lie and exaggerate in her praise; rather, one praises the bride

as she is!

And if there is nothing with which to praise her, one remains silent!

And Beit Hillel say:

It is permitted to say that

she is a beautiful and gracious bride,

since in her husband’s eyes she is indeed beautiful and gracious .

Beit Shammai said to Beit Hillel: If she was lame or blind,

do you

say to her, “Beautiful and gracious bride”? And the

for

Torah said: “Distance yourself from a false matter”!

Beit Hillel said to Beit Shammai: According to your words, one who bought a bad purchase from the market

does he

praise it in his eyes, or condemn it in his eyes?! You must say: He praises it in his eyes!

So here too, he should praise the bride in her husband’s eyes. But the opinion of Beit Shammai is that it is preferable to remain silent and not lie.

And

from here, [

that is, from these words of Beit Hillel]

the Sages said: “A person’s disposition should always be

involved with people”—

to tell each person what he wishes to hear.

When Rav Dimi came

from the Land of Israel to Babylonia,

he said: This is what they sang before brides in the West [

thus they said before brides in the Land of Israel]: This bride, even if she

does not

put on

kohl, rouge, or adornment, and

nevertheless will be

a graceful doe.

When the Sages ordained Rabbi Zeira

for the rabbinate,

they sang to him thus: “Not kohl [

that he was not colored, as they, of blessed memory, said: “Beware of the colored ones”]

and not rouge [

that he did not appear healthy, but his face was pale from the toil of Torah]

and not adornment [

that he was not dressed according to the custom of rabbis]

and

nevertheless he is

a graceful doe.”

According to the glosses of Rabbi Yaakov Emden.

When the Sages ordained Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi, they sang to them thus: “All such as this and all such as this, ordain for us,” [

that is, ordain for us only people such as these]

and do not ordain for us from the sarmisin [

that is, those who distort halakhot],

nor from the sarmitin [

an expression meaning rags],

and some say, not from the hamisin [

who say only a fifth of the reason],

nor from the turmisin [

there are those who explained: men of violence].

When Rabbi Abbahu would come from the academy [

from the beit-midrash]

to the house of the emperor, the emperor’s maidservants would go out before him [

the emperor’s maidservants went out before him]

and sing to him thus: “The great one of his people” [

leader of his people]

and the guide of his nation” [

and leader of his nation],

“the lamp of light” [

the pillar of light, on account of the radiance of his face, which shone brightly],

“blessed is your coming in peace” !

They said about Rabbi Yehuda bar Ilaai that he would take a branch of myrtle, dance before the bride, and say: “Beautiful and gracious bride.”

And there is likewise an incident involving

Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzhak

who

would dance

before the bride

with three,

that is, with three branches of myrtle, which he would throw one after another and then catch again.

He said

to

him: “The elder is embarrassing us,”

for you are causing disrespect to the honor of Torah scholars.

When his soul came to rest [

when Rav Shmuel died],

a pillar of fire ceased between him and everyone else,

and that pillar was made like a partition of myrtle between him and the people. (Genesis Rabbah, section 59')

And we have received, [

and it is accepted by us]—

that a pillar of fire ceased only either for one person in a generation or for two people in a generation.

Rabbi Zeira said: It benefited him

that he merited this because of

his myrtle branch [

the branch of myrtle with which he danced]

for the elder, and some say, his foolishness [

that he would conduct himself like a fool]

for the elder, and some say, his way [

his manner and custom]

for the elder.

Rav Aha

would

carry her—

the bride—

on his shoulders and dance.

The Sages said to him: We—what is [the ruling] to do so,

should we not be concerned about sinful thoughts?

He said to them: If she appears to you like a beam,—

that is, like a wooden beam—

then, good!

There is no concern.

But if not, no.

Rav Shmuel bar Nahmani said that Rav Yonatan said: It is permitted to look at a bride’s face all seven [days] in order to endear her to her husband,

by his seeing that everyone looks at her, her beauty enters his heart.

But the halakha is not in accordance with his view,

because there is concern about sinful thoughts.

The Sages taught

in Tractate Semahot: A procession of the groom and bride, the escort of the dead, and the retinue of the king that arrived at one road, and there is room only for one of them,

they transfer the dead

to another road,

before the bride, and both of them before the king of Israel.

They said about King Agrippa that he passed before a bride, and the Sages praised him.

And we raise a difficulty:

“They praised him”? By implication, he acted properly! But Rav Ashi said: Even according to the one who says that when a leader waives his honor, his honor is waived,

in any event,

when a king waives his honor, his honor is not waived!

Because

the Master said:

it is written—

“You shall surely set

over you a king,”

the verse doubled the wording of “setting” to say—

“so that his awe shall be upon you,”

and even if he waives his honor, you must again make him king over you; if so, how did King Agrippa waive his honor?

And we answer: There

was a crossroads,

and it was not apparent that he had passed before the bride, and therefore they did not object to his waiving his honor.

The Sages taught:

If they wished to cancel, then they

cancel Torah study for bringing out the dead and for bringing in the bride.

And likewise,

they said about Rabbi Yehuda bar Ilaai that he would cancel Torah study for bringing out the dead and for bringing in the bride .

When are these words said? When he does not have all that is necessary with him; but when he has all that is necessary with him, they do not cancel.

And how many constitute all that is necessary? Rav Shmuel bar Inya said in the name of Rav: twelve thousand [

twelve thousand]

men, and six thousand trumpets [

heralds who announce that they should come to honor him].

And some say, thirteen thousand [

thirteen thousand]

men, and from among them—

and among them—

six thousand trumpets.

Ulla said: For example, when men are lined up from the gate [

of the city]

until Sikra [

the grave].

Rav Sheshet, and some say Rabbi Yohanan, said: Its taking away

of the Torah

is like its giving: just as its giving was with six hundred thousand, so its taking away is with six hundred thousand.