Yevamot 63b — the Talmud in English

Rav Yehuda was teaching Rav Yitzhak, his son, [the verse]

he was teaching his son the verse

“And I find the woman more bitter than death.”

He said to him

Rav Yitzhak to his father:

“Such as whom”

such as whom is more bitter than death?

His father said to him:

“Such as your mother.”

And we raise an objection:

“Is that so!”

But

on another occasion

Rav Yehuda was teaching Rav Yitzhak, his son

he was teaching his son the statement:

“A person finds satisfaction only with his first wife, as it is stated: ‘May your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.’”

And he said to him

Rav Yitzhak to his father:

“Such as whom?”

And his father said to him:

“Such as your mother.”

It follows that Rav Yehuda’s wife was a good woman?!

And we answer: Rav Yehuda’s wife was

truly forceful, but readily passed over matters in speech.

She was forceful on the one hand, and easy to appease and ready to pass over her traits on the other hand.

What are the circumstances of a bad woman?

Abaye said:

such as a woman who

adorns the table for him and adorns her mouth for him

she adorns the table for the meal, and until the time of the meal she “adorns” her mouth with curses and insults.

Rava said: She adorns the table for him, and turns her back to him

she adorns the table for the meal and turns her back to him. For she does not sit with him for the meal, in order to distress him.

Rabbi Hama bar Hanina said: Once a person marries a woman,

then

his sins

become stopped up

sealed. From the language of a stopper.

As it is stated: “He who finds a wife finds good, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

In the West, when a person married a woman

in the Land of Israel, when a person married a woman,

they would say to him thus

they would ask him thus:

“‘Found’ or ‘finds?”

And it explains the Gemara the intention of the question:

Whether

“found,”

as it is written, “He who finds a wife finds good,”

meaning: whether you found a good woman.

Or perhaps

“finds,”

as it is written, “And I find the woman more bitter than death.”

Meaning: perhaps you married a bad woman.

Rava said: A bad woman—

it is a mitzva to divorce her!

For it is written: “Drive out the scoffer, and strife will depart, and quarrel and disgrace will cease.”

And Rava said:

if a person has

a bad woman, and her marriage settlement is large,

and it is difficult for him to divorce her—

Her rival—

is at her side!

He should marry another woman.

For people say:

A woman accepts admonition—

through her fellow

by bringing a rival into the house,

and not through a stick

more than if he beats her with a stick.

And Rava said: A bad woman is as difficult as a day of storm

a day of hail and wind.

As it is stated: “A constant dripping on a day of storm, and a contentious woman

a quarrelsome woman, according to the translation

are equal.”

They are equal.

And he said. Rava: Come and see how good a good woman is, and how bad a bad woman is.

How good a good woman is: for it is written, “He who finds a wife finds good

and obtains favor from the Lord.”

And from either side of the matter you learn from this verse the great goodness of a good woman:

For

if the verse speaks of her,

if the verse speaks about an actually good woman, then you have learned:

how good a good woman is, since the verse praises her.

And

if the verse speaks of Torah

and if the verse’s intention is not an actually good woman, but the verse compares Torah to a good woman, then you have learned:

how good a good woman is, since Torah is compared to her.

How bad a bad woman is: for it is written, “And I find the woman more bitter than death.”

And from either side of the matter you learn the extent of the evil of a bad woman:

For

if the verse speaks of her

if indeed the verse speaks of an actually bad woman, then you have learned:

how bad a bad woman is, since the verse condemns her

condemns her.

And

if the verse speaks of Gehenna

if the verse’s intention is not an actually bad woman, but the verse compares Gehenna to a bad woman, then you have learned:

how bad a bad woman is, since Gehenna is compared to her.

It is written: “Therefore, so said the Lord:

Behold, I am bringing

upon them

a calamity from which they will not be able to escape,

and they will cry out to Me, but I will not listen to them.”

He said

he explained

Rav Nahman said that Rav Avuhu said: This is a bad woman,

whom it is fitting to divorce,

and

if

her marriage settlement is large,

and he has no means to pay it, and cannot escape from his distress.

It is written in the Scroll of Lamentations:

“The Lord has given me

into hands from which I cannot rise.”

Rav Hisda said, he said

he explained

Mar Ukva bar Hiyya: This is a bad woman, and her marriage settlement is large,

so that he has no recovery from his distress.

In the West they said

they explained the verse:

This is one whose sustenance depends on his money,

who has no sowing in the ground from which to eat, and must use his money to buy food in the market, always worrying lest the price increase, or lest there be a shortage of food.

It is written in the rebuke in the portion Ki Tavo: “And it shall be, if you do not listen to the voice of the Lord”—

your sons and your daughters shall be given to another people

and your eyes shall see and pine for them all day, but there shall be no strength in your hand.

He said

he explained

Rav Hanan bar Rava said that Rav: This is the father’s wife

a stepmother, to whom the father’s sons and daughters are given.

It is written in the Song of Haazinu: “They provoked Me with no-god, angered Me with their vanities, and I shall provoke them with a no-people,”

“with a vile nation I shall anger them.”

He said

he explained

Rav Hanan bar Rava said that Rav: This is a bad woman whose marriage settlement is large.

Rabbi Eliezer says

he explained:

These are the Sadducees

in the Meiri: these are

the heretics.

And so it says: “The vile man says in his heart, ‘There is no God,’ and so on.

”

You have learned that one who says, “There is no God,” is called vile, for he makes his mouth vile against the Holy One, blessed is He [Maharsha].

In the metanita it was taught

they explained the verse thus:

These are the people of Barbaria and the people of Martenai

they are places,

who walk naked in the marketplace.

For you have no one more repulsive and abominable before the Omnipresent than one who walks naked in the marketplace,

and they were called “vile” because they make themselves vile and abominable before the Omnipresent [Maharsha].

Rabbi Yohanan said: These are the Haverim

Persians, who are wicked and do not recognize the honor of Israel.

They said to Rabbi Yohanan: The Haverim have come to Babylonia

the Persians have arrived in Babylonia.

He grew faint

Rabbi Yohanan and

fell

Rabbi Yohanan bent down and fell from great distress that the members of the academy had been delivered into the hands of the Persians.

They said to him

to Rabbi Yohanan: The Persians

accept bribes

in order to nullify decrees!

And when Rabbi Yohanan heard this:

he sat upright

his stature straightened.

They said to him

to Rabbi Yohanan:

They decreed

the Persians

regarding three

matters, as it explains and proceeds.

Rabbi Yohanan said to them:

Because of three

things that Israel did; therefore they decreed three decrees, as it explains and proceeds.

They decreed

the Persians

regarding meat,

that they should not eat slaughtered meat—

because of the gifts

the foreleg, the cheeks, and the stomach, which Israel would rob from the priests by not giving them to them.

They decreed regarding the bathhouses

that they should not immerse in them—

because of immersion,

as Israel were not careful with it.

They were digging up the dead

the Persians were digging in the graves of Israel and removing the dead from their graves—

because Israel rejoice

Israel

on their festival day

the festival of the gentiles.

As it is stated:

“And if you do not listen to the voice of the Lord and rebel against the word of the Lord”—

“the hand of the Lord shall be

against you and against your fathers.”

And

Rabba bar Shmuel said: This is the digging up of the dead,

for your fathers have already died, and it is impossible that the hand of the Lord should be against them except in this manner.

For the master said: Because of the sin of the living—

the dead are dug up,

and therefore, when Israel do not listen to the voice of the Lord, the hand of the Lord strikes the graves of their fathers.

He said

he raised the difficulty

Rava to Rabba bar Mari:

It is written

in Jeremiah: “At that time, the word of the Lord, they shall bring out the bones of the kings of Judah and their officers, and spread them out before the sun and the moon.”

“They shall not gather

to the grave

and they shall not

be buried; they shall be dung upon the face of the earth.”

And it is written

immediately afterward,

“And death shall be chosen over life,”

which implies that the living will choose to die rather than live.

But how is this possible, after they see the disgrace of the dead, that they will choose to die?!

He said to him

Rabba bar Mari to Rava: The verse does not mean that the living will choose death; rather, the prophet says:

“Death is preferable for the wicked”

the death of the wicked is better than their life, so that

they should not live in this world, sin, and fall into Gehenna.

It is written in the Book of Ben Sira:

A good woman

is

a good gift; she is given into the bosom of one who fears God.

But

a bad woman

is like

leprosy to her husband.

And

what is his remedy

and what is her husband’s remedy?

He should divorce her, and he will be healed of his leprosy.

A beautiful woman—

fortunate is her husband.

The number of his days is doubled.

He is happy with his portion, and it seems to him as though his days are doubled.

Turn your eyes away from a graceful woman

of others—

lest you be caught in her snare.

Do not incline toward her husband to drink with him

to drink with him

wine and strong drink.

For through the beauty of a beautiful woman—

many have been destroyed.

And the mighty—

all her slain.

Many were the wounds of the peddler

who went from house to house and sold perfumes to women,

who accustom people to speak of forbidden relations.

For adultery with the women who buy from them is common among them, and when the husband comes, he wounds him.

Like a spark of fire that ignites a coal,

so a person’s evil inclination ignites him.

And

like a cage full of a bird

the way of a cage is to contain many small birds, while in this case it is full of one large bird, Maharsha—

so are their houses full of deceit.

Do not distress yourself with tomorrow’s distress—

for you do not know what a day will bring forth.

Perhaps tomorrow he is dead,

the one who worries will die, and he will not be in the world to see the distress over which he troubles and worries,

and it will be found

that he was

distressed over a world that is not his.

Keep many away from inside your house, and do not bring everyone into your house.

Many will be those who seek your welfare.

Reveal a secret to one among a thousand.

And now the Gemara returns to the matters of procreation:

Rabbi Asi said: The son of David will not come

until all the souls in

that storehouse of souls called

“Guf” are exhausted.

As it is stated:

“For I will not contend forever [I will delay the time of redemption], nor will I remain angry eternally [from redeeming],

for the spirit from before Me

the souls that are still before Me in the “Guf”

will be delayed

he delays the time of redemption, as in: “And it shall be the delayed ones—the ones delayed—for Laban,

and the souls that I

that I

made.”

It was explained according to Rashi to Avoda Zara 5a.

It was taught: Rabbi Eliezer says: Anyone who does not engage in procreation,

he is

as though he sheds blood

for he deprives the world of souls and is as though he sheds their blood, Etz Yosef.

As it is stated: “Whoever sheds the blood of man”—

by man shall his blood be shed,

for in the image of God He made man.

And it is written afterward: “And you, be fruitful and multiply.”

Rabbi Akiva says: it is as though he diminishes the likeness.

As it is stated: For in the likeness of God He made man.

And it is written afterward

And you, be fruitful

and multiply.

Ben Azzai says: it is as though he sheds blood and

also

diminishes the likeness.

As it is stated:

He who sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the likeness of God He made man.

And you, be fruitful and multiply.

Since this verse was stated after these two matters, it applies to both of them.

They said to Ben Azzai: There is one who expounds beautifully and fulfills beautifully;

and there is

one who fulfills beautifully but does not expound beautifully.

And

if

you are one who expounds beautifully but does not fulfill beautifully,

for you divorced your wife before fulfilling the mitzva of being fruitful and multiplying [Tosafot].

Ben Azzai said to them: What shall I do, for my soul has yearned for Torah? Is it possible for the world to be sustained through

others?

It was taught in another teaching [

a baraita was taught in another version, which substitutes the words of Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah for the words of Rabbi Akiva]:

Rabbi Eliezer says: Anyone who does not engage in being fruitful and multiplying is as though he sheds blood, as it is stated: He who sheds the blood of man.

And adjacent to it: And you, be fruitful

and multiply.

Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah says: It is as though he diminishes the likeness.

Ben Azzai says

and so on.

They said to Ben Azzai: There is one who expounds beautifully

and so on,

as was explained in the preceding baraita.

The Sages taught:

It is written: And it was when the ark journeyed, Moses said, Arise, O Lord',

and when it rested he said, Return, O Lord

to the myriads, the thousands of Israel.