Sanhedrin 39a (לט.) — the Talmud in English

And these are:

“The fathers shall eat unripe grapes

and the teeth of the children shall be set on edge,”

Jeremiah 31:28]

, “Accurate scales, accurate weights,”

Leviticus 19:36]

, “The righteous is delivered from trouble, and the wicked comes in his stead.”

Proverbs 11:8] .

A certain heretic said

to Rabban Gamliel: “Your God is a thief! For it is written: ‘And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept.’”

His daughter said to him: “Leave him. I will answer him.”

Leave him; I will answer him:

She said to him: “Give me one duke.”

Give me a judge so that I may exact vengeance.

He said to her: “Why do you need him?”

She said to him:

“Thieves came upon us during the night, took a silver pitcher from us, and left us a golden pitcher.”

He said to her: “Would that they came upon us every day.”

She said to him:

“Was it not good for Adam, that they took one rib from him and gave him a maidservant to serve him ?!”

He said to her: “That is precisely what I meant, but let them take it openly!”

That was what I meant to ask: Why did He take it from him while he was asleep, like a burglar breaking in, rather than taking it from him openly?

She said to him: “Bring me a piece of raw meat.”

Bring me a piece of raw meat.

They brought it to her. She placed it beneath the ashes, roasted it, took it out, and presented it to him, saying: “Eat this.”

When they brought it to her, she placed it beneath the ashes to roast it and presented it to him to eat.

He said to her: “It is repulsive to me,”

Once I saw how it was prepared before it was cut, I cannot eat it.

She said to him: “Adam, too, if she had been taken from him openly,

and he had seen how the Holy One, blessed be He, created the woman,

she would have been repulsive to him.”

Another matter:

A certain heretic said to Rabban Gamliel: “I know what your God is doing now,”

I know what the Holy One, blessed be He, is doing at this moment .

He struck his hands together and sighed.

Rabban Gamliel slapped his hands together and sighed.

He said to him: “What is this?”

Why are you sighing?

He said to him: “I have one son in the overseas cities, and I long for him. I want you to show him to me.”

I want you to show me where he is and what he is doing now.

He said: “Do I know where he is?!”

Do I really know where he is?

He said to him: “You do not know what is on earth, yet you know what is in heaven?!”

You do not know what is happening on earth, yet you know what is happening in heaven?!

A certain heretic said to Rabban Gamliel: “It is written

Psalms 147:4]

‘He counts the number of the stars.’ What greatness is there in that? I can count the stars!”

How extraordinary is that? I, too, can count the stars .

He brought quinces

and

, threw them into a sieve, and kept moving them about,

placing them in a sieve and moving them back and forth.

He said to him: “Count them!”

He said to him: “Set them down.”

Put them in one place, and then I will be able to count them.

He said to him: “The firmament, too, moves in this manner.”

The stars, too, move from here to there in the firmament, and you will not be able to count them.

Some say that he said this to him:

the heretic to Rabban Gamliel:

“Count my stars.”

That is, I know the number of the stars.

He said to him: “Tell me, how many molars and teeth do you have?”

Tell him how many teeth there are in your mouth?

He put his hand into his mouth and began counting them.

He put his hand into his mouth to count his teeth.

He said to him: “You do not know what is in your mouth, yet you know what is in the firmament?!”

You do not know what is in your mouth, yet you know what is in heaven?!

A certain heretic said to Rabban Gamliel: “The One who created mountains did not create wind.”

As it is stated

Amos 4:13],

“For behold, He forms mountains

and creates wind.”

This implies that there are two beings: one formed and the other created.

Rabban Gamliel said to him:

“If that is so, regarding man, for it is written

Genesis 1:27]

‘And He created,’

while elsewhere [2:7] it is written

‘And He formed,’ is it likewise the case that the One who created one did not create the other?!”

And if you say that indeed, some of man’s limbs were created by one and some by another,

what will you say about a person’s head, which is

a handbreadth by a handbreadth

and

has two openings,

the eyes and the ears? Is it possible that

the One who created one did not create the other?!

As it is stated

Psalms 94:9],

“He who plants the ear, shall He not hear? And He who forms the eye, shall He not see?!”

He said to him: “Yes!”

He said to him: “And

is it possible that

at the time of death they all—

the One who plants, the One who forms, and the One who creates—

agreed

to kill him at that moment?!

A certain magus

sorcerer]

said to Ameimar:

I see through sorcery that

your upper half belongs to Ohrmuz

66, and your lower half belongs to Ahormuz.

Your upper half was created by a demon, and your lower half by the Holy One, blessed be He .

He said to him,

Ameimar

, “If so, how does Ahormuz permit

Ohrmuz to pass water through his domain,

how does Ohrmuz permit Ahormuz to have his portion pass foul water through his domain? For everything a person puts into his mouth he expels through his bodily orifices?

The emperor said to Rabbi Tanḥum: “Come, let us all become one people.”

Come, let us all become one people.

Rabbi Tanḥum said to him: “Gladly! We who are circumcised cannot become like you; you should be circumcised and become like us.”

With great respect. But we who are circumcised cannot become like you, so you must circumcise yourselves in order to become like us.

He said to him,

the emperor

: “You have spoken well. However, anyone who defeats the king in debate is to be thrown into the menagerie.”

You answered well. But anyone who defeats the king in an argument will be thrown to the lions.

They threw him into the menagerie, but the lions did not eat him.

They threw him into a pit, but the lions did not eat him.

A certain sectarian said

to the emperor

, “The reason they did not eat him is that they are not hungry.”

They did not eat him because they were not hungry.

They threw that sectarian to them, and they ate him.

They threw that sectarian in, and the lions ate him.

A certain heretic said to Rabban Gamliel: “You say that the Divine Presence rests upon every group of ten ,

the Divine Presence rests upon every group of ten Jews; if so,

how many

Divine Presences are there?”

He called for his servant and struck him on the neck.

He said to him: “Why has the sun entered the heretic’s house?”

Rabban Gamliel called for the heretic’s servant, struck him on the neck, and said to him: Why did you allow the sun to enter the heretic’s house?!

He said to him,

the heretic

: “The sun is welcome to everyone.”

That is, the sun shines equally upon all the inhabitants of the world.

He said to him:

“And if the sun, which is one of a thousand thousand myriads of servants who stand before the Holy One, blessed be He, is welcome to everyone, how much more so the Divine Presence of the Holy One, blessed be He,”

which can rest upon the entire world.

A certain sectarian said to Rabbi Abbahu: “Your God is a joker.”

That is, He plays games with His prophets.

For He says to Ezekiel,

Ezekiel 4:4]

“Lie on your left side,” and it is written

there, verse 6]

“And you shall lie on your right side.”

And at that moment,

a certain student came

before Rabbi Abbahu

, and said to him: “What is the reason for the Sabbatical year?”

Why did the Holy One, blessed be He, command concerning the Sabbatical year?

He said to him: “Now I will tell you something that is suitable for both of you.”

I will tell you something that applies equally to both of you.

The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Israel: “Sow for six years and let the seventh lie fallow,

so that you will know that the land is Mine,”

and your hearts will not become haughty over the praise of your land, causing you to forget the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven.

But they did not do so; rather, they sinned and were exiled.

The way of the world is that when a flesh-and-blood king has a province that has rebelled against him: if he is cruel, he kills them all; if he is merciful, he kills half of them; and if he is filled with mercy, he afflicts the prominent ones among them with suffering.

So too, the Holy One, blessed be He, afflicts Ezekiel in order to cleanse Israel’s sins .

A certain sectarian said to Rabbi Abbahu:

Behold,

“Your God is a kohen, as it is written

Exodus 25:2]

‘And let them take an offering for Me,’”

and if so,

“When He buried Moses, in what did He immerse?”

And if you say that He immersed in water, is it not written

Isaiah 40:12],

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand?”

He said to him: “He immersed in fire,”

in fire]

“He immersed.”

For it is written,

Isaiah 66:15]

“For behold, the Lord will come in fire.”

“And is immersion in fire effective,”

is immersion in fire effective?!

He said to him: “On the contrary! The principal immersion is in fire.”

For it is written,

Numbers 31:23],

“And everything that cannot

pass through fire, you shall pass through water.”

A certain sectarian said to Rabbi Avina: “It is written, ‘Who is like Your people Israel, one nation in the land.’ What is their distinction? You too have become mixed in with us,

and He did not exclude you from the general statement,

as it is written

Isaiah 40:17],

‘All the nations are as nothing before Him’?”