Ketubot 65a (סה.) — the Talmud in English

As Rabbi Elazar said:

The court does not allot wine to a woman.

When a woman’s husband dies and the court allots her sustenance from the property of the orphans, the court does not allot her wine, because wine arouses her desire for intercourse.

And if you would say:

But it is written:

“I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax,

my oil and my drink.”

And it might have entered our minds that “my drink” means something with which she is given to drink, and it must be wine, since the verse has already mentioned water, “my water.” Thus, this verse proves that it is customary for a woman to drink wine!?

It can be said that “my drink” refers to

things that a woman longs for—and what are they? Jewelry

and not wine.

Rabbi Yehuda of Kfar Gibboraya taught, and some say: of Kfar Gibbor

Ḥayil

[some say that he was from Kfar Gibbor Ḥayil]:

From where is it derived that the court does not allot wine to a woman?

As it is stated

concerning Hannah, when she went up with her husband Elkanah to the Tabernacle at Shiloh:

“And Hannah arose after she had eaten

in Shiloh, and after she had drunk.”

Thus, the verse says

“after he had drunk”, in the masculine form, meaning that only her husband Elkanah drank,

and not “after she had drunk,”

and not “drunk”

Hannah.

The Gemara challenges this inference from the wording of the verse:

If that is so,

regarding the fact that it is written in that same verse, “she had eaten,” we should likewise infer:

“she had eaten” and not “he had eaten.”

Would

so too

you say that only Hannah ate, while Elkanah did not eat!?

And we answer:

We,

who derive our exposition from the word “he had drunk,” do so

because

of the fact that

the verse changed its wording

[the verse changed its wording]

we are saying.

For:

Since it is dealing with her

[the verse is dealing with Hannah], as it says, “And Hannah arose.” If so,

why did it change,

why did the verse write “he had drunk” in the masculine form—

necessarily,

this teaches us that ‘he had drunk’

Elkanah

and not ‘she had drunk,’

Hannah.

There is no difficulty, however, with the fact that the verse, which is dealing with Hannah, says “she had eaten,” which can be expounded in the feminine form, without mentioning that her husband ate with her.

The Gemara raises an objection

from that which was taught in a beraita: If she was

accustomed

to drinking wine,

they give her

wine. This indicates that wine is allotted to a woman!? And we answer: A woman who is

accustomed

to drinking wine

is different,

because since it is not an innovation for her, she is accustomed to it, and it does not cause her heart to be led astray.

As Rav Ḥinnana bar Kahana said in the name of Shmuel:

A woman who is

accustomed

to drinking wine—

they give her one cup.

A woman who is

not accustomed

to drinking wine—

they give her two cups.

And he proceeds to explain it.

What is Shmuel saying?

It would appear to be the opposite!?

He said—

Abaye explained:

This is what Shmuel is saying

:

If she is

accustomed

to drinking wine

in her husband’s presence, two cups,

when she is

not in her husband’s presence, they give her only one cup

.

But if she

is not accustomed

to drinking

in her husband’s presence

two cups of wine,

but only one cup,

then, when she is

not in her husband’s presence—

they do not give her any at all.

Alternatively, if you wish, say

to resolve the difficulty from the beraita, which taught, “If she is accustomed, they give her”:

Accustomed—

they give her

wine

for seasoning the pot

[to flavor the cooked dish], but not for drinking.

As Rabbi Abbahu said in the name of Rabbi Yoḥanan:

There was an incident

involving

a widow who was

the daughter-in-law

[the widow of his son]

of Nakdimon ben Guryon,

who was extremely wealthy,

and the Sages allotted her two seahs of wine for seasoning the pot, from one Shabbat eve to the next Shabbat eve.

That is, for one week, because she had been accustomed to wine in her husband’s home.

She said to them

to the Sages: May it be God’s will that you become wealthy, and

that you allot this much to your daughters.

The tanna taught

in a beraita:

Nakdimon ben Guryon’s daughter-in-law was a woman awaiting levirate marriage,

and they allotted her sustenance from the property of the yavam.

And

therefore

they did not answer her, “Amen,”

for they approved her blessing, and did not want their daughters to become women awaiting levirate marriage.

The tanna taught:

Drinking

one cup

of wine

is beneficial

for

a woman.

Two

cups of wine for a woman

are disgraceful

for her.

Three

cups cause her to desire intercourse, until she

demands

intercourse

verbally.

But when a woman drinks

four

cups of wine, then

she demands even a donkey

from a man

in the marketplace,

even publicly, to have intercourse with him,

and she is not concerned

about her disgrace.

Rava said: They taught

that wine is not beneficial to a woman

only

when

her husband is not with her.

But when her husband is with her, we have no concern,

because even if she verbally demands intercourse, her husband is with her, and she will demand it from him.

The Gemara raises a difficulty:

But Hannah—

we learned from her that wine is not beneficial to a woman, despite the fact that

her husband

Elkanah

was with her

[her husband Elkanah was together with her].

Thus, even when her husband is with her, wine is not suitable for a woman!?

And we answer:

A guest

who does not live in his own home but is staying elsewhere

is different.

For if she desires intercourse, she will not be able to have intercourse with her husband.

As Rav Huna said: From where is it derived that a guest is forbidden to engage in marital relations?

As it is stated

concerning Elkanah and Hannah:

“And they rose early in the morning, and bowed before the Lord.

And they returned and came to their home,

to Ramah.

And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.”

Thus we learn: only

now,

when they returned to their home—

not

indeed, Elkanah knew Hannah his wife through marital relations.

But

initially,

when Elkanah and his wife were guests in Shiloh—

he did not

know her.

The Gemara brings an incident:

Ḥuma, Abaye’s wife

[Ḥuma was Abaye’s wife, and she was widowed]—

came before Rava

[she came before Rava] and

said to him: Allot me sustenance

from the property of the orphans!

He allotted her

Rava.

She added and said to him:

Allot me

also

wine

[wine]!

He said to her

Rava:

I know Nahmani

[Abaye ]

that he did not drink wine

[I know and recognize that Abaye did not drink wine], and since you are not accustomed to wine, I will not allot you wine.

She said to him,

Ḥuma to Rava, while raising her forearm and arm:

I swear by

the life of my master, that he would give him

wine [that my husband would give me wine

in cups as large as this

[in cups this large], like my forearm and arm].

While she was showing it to him, her arm became exposed

[while she was showing Rava her forearm and arm, her arm became exposed].

Light fell in the court

[light fell in the beit-midrash], because she was exceedingly beautiful.

Rava arose, went into his house, and demanded the daughter of Rav Ḥisda

[Rava arose from the court and went to his home and demanded intercourse from his wife—who was the daughter of Rav Ḥisda], because he had been aroused when he saw Ḥuma’s beauty.

She said

she asked

him,

to Rava,

the daughter of Rav Ḥisda,

who understood the reason for her husband’s demand:

Who was in the court just now

[who was the woman who was just now in the court]?

He said to her

Rava to his wife:

Ḥuma, Abaye’s wife

[Ḥuma, Abaye’s wife], she is the one who was just now in the court!

She went out after her

[Rava’s wife went out after Ḥuma],

and struck her with a chest-lock

[and struck her with a chest-lock],

until she drove her out of all of Meḥoza

[until she drove her entirely beyond the boundaries of the city of Meḥoza], Rava’s city.

And

she said to her,

Rava’s wife

you have killed

until now

three

[you have already killed three husbands], whom you married and who died. The last was Abaye.

And you have come to kill another

[and now you have come to kill others as well]. You have come to display your beauty, so that a man will hasten to marry you, and he too will die!?

The Gemara brings another incident:

The wife

[the wife]

of Rav Yosef, son of Rava,

who had been widowed,

came before Rav Naḥemya, son of Rav Yosef,

and

said to him: Allot me sustenance!

He allotted her

Rav Naḥemya allotted her sustenance.

She added and said to him:

Allot me

also

wine!

He allotted her

wine as she requested.

He said to her: I know the people of Meḥoza

[I know the people of Meḥoza], Rava’s city,

that they drink wine

[that they drink wine], and she is accustomed to it.

Another incident:

The wife of Rav Yosef, son of Rav Menashya of Mevil

[the widow of Rav Yosef, son of Rav Menashya from the city of Mevil],

came before Rav Yosef.

She said to him: Allot me sustenance!

He allotted her

Rav Yosef allotted her sustenance.

She added and said to him:

Allot me wine!

He allotted her

Rav Yosef allotted her wine.

She added and said to him:

Allot me silk garments

[fine silk garments]!

He said to her:

But

why do you need silk garments

for!?

She said to him: Since this is how I conducted myself in my husband’s presence, I do not want to be degraded from my former honor

before you, your associate, and your associate’s associate

[not before you, nor before your associates].

[not before you and not before your colleagues].

We learned in the Mishna:

And he gives her a bed, a mat

and a reed mat:

The Gemara asks: Nowadays, when there is a flat leather covering on the bed and she can lie upon it, if so,

a mat and a reed mat—

why does she need them,

that he should give them to her

[why should he give them to her]? The leather is better and softer than both of them!?

Rav Pappa said:

Our Mishna is speaking

in a place

where there is no flat leather covering on the bed. Rather,

they are accustomed to fill the bed with ropes

[in that place they are accustomed to weave ropes between the legs of the bed], and she needs a mat or a reed mat to spread over them, since

the

ropes

make her age

[an expression of becoming mature, meaning that they cause her discomfort and make her seem older].

The Sages taught: They do not give her a pillow or a mattress, to a husband who supports his wife through a third party!

to a husband who supports his wife through a trustee!

In the name of Rabbi Natan they said: They give her

also

a pillow and a mattress!

The Gemara raises a difficulty:

What are the circumstances

in which this beraita is speaking?

If it is her customary practice

[if it is customary for the women of the woman’s family to use a pillow and mattress],

what is the reason of the first tanna,

who says that they do not give them to her? Surely she should not be made to descend from the level to which she was accustomed in her husband’s home!?

And if it is not her customary practice

[and if the beraita is speaking of a woman who is not accustomed to them], then

what is the reason of Rabbi Natan,

who says that they give them to her!?

And we answer:

No, it is necessary:

in a case

such as where it is his customary practice

to use a pillow and mattress

but it is not her customary practice

[it is not customary for the women of her family to sleep on pillows and mattresses].

Although, when he is with her, he is obligated to accustom her to his practice, since the accepted rule is that “she rises with him,” as explained above, on page 61a, nevertheless,

the first tanna holds that he

can

say to her: When I go away, I will take them with me; and when I come, I will bring them

with me

[the husband can claim: When I am away from home, I will take the pillow and mattress with me, and when I return to be with you, I will bring them with me].

And Rabbi Natan holds:

Although his basic claim is valid, nevertheless,

the woman said to him,

to her husband:

I am concerned that

sometimes it may happen that you return at twilight

[sometimes you will return to me on Shabbat eve at twilight]

and you will not be able to bring them

[and you will not be able to bring the pillow and mattress with you, because of the prohibition against carrying].

And

when you lack a pillow,

you will take mine

[you will take the one that I will purchase with my own money]

and spread me on the ground

[and make me lie on the ground].

We learned in the Mishna:

and gives her a cap

for her head, a belt for her loins, and shoes from one festival to the next, and utensils worth fifty zuz from one year to the next:

Said

perplexedly

Rav Pappa to Abaye: